I am in Despair...

Hi everyone...

I am feeling a bit down at the moment, I have been going through a hard time with someone I considered as a really close friend at the moment, this friend of mine has decided to start attacking my beliefs and what I do and that sort of thing always hurts. When I joined UNOH we got a fair bit of this sort of thing from other friends, but this guy stood by us. Now my friend has caught onto a new type of teaching, one that stand opposed to what I do in many ways, one that is more focused on personal righteousness than living out the Gospel, I'm sure you know this type of thing... whilst both things are needed there is an unhealthy tendency to swing towards one or the other rather than keeping them both in tension...

Anyway, I take these things really badly and this has put me out a fair bit, it reminded me of something i wrote about 4 months ago when I was also going through a rough stage because of something that was affecting Naomi pretty badly... it was a cathartic exercise that I was going to keep to myself, but Naomi saw it and thought it was good so I thought maybe I would share it with you...

I am in despair…
When I see the condition of this world,
I am in despair…
When I see the Condition of this Church,
I am in despair…
When I see good people fall,
I am in despair…
When I see good people hurt,
I am in despair…
When I see the tear in my wife’s eye,
I am in despair…
When it seems Evil is winning over good,
I am in despair…
That the church sees the answer as offence rather than love,
I am in despair…
When His Kingdom seems to be slipping away,
I am in despair…
When I feel that my hands are tied,
I am in despair…
That the church keeps crucifying him day after day,
I am in despair…
That I keep crucifying Him also,
I am in despair…
At the darkness that is in me,
I am in despair…
That there is no clear way ahead,
I am in despair…
That introspection makes me feels selfish,

But I stand…
On the truth that He will never leave us,
But I stand…
On the truth that He will never forsake us,
But I stand…
Because the light has not died,
But I stand…
Because the hope has not died,
But I stand…
Because He is my life,
But I stand…
Because I am not alone,
But I stand…
Because I am loved,
But I stand…
Because I am called.