I think sometimes we can be a bit elitist when we move into a ministry position, particularly missions based ones. We do have this mindset so caricatured by so many Hollywood movies of the all knowing Man of God, here to save the savage, uneducated heathens. I'm not suggesting that our view of things is this extreme, however, we can still come to our mission field thinking that we have the answers. No matter how much we loathe the idea of being typecast into this sort of missionary, I think that we still have that outlook buried deep in our psyche somewhere.
For myself, I struggle with the terms mission or missionary, when I apply them to myself (or many others who are doing the same sort of thing around the world), just like I struggle with the term Christian when applying it to myself. In a theoretical sense these terms are fine, but I don't like taking them on myself because of the stigma attached. The sigma suggests arrogance, it holds values of colonialism, brashness, stubbornness, pride, greed, arrogance etc. We have to admit that this caricature does not hold up well against what the bible calls a Christian to be (as opposed to the caricature of a Christian, which is another matter all together),certainly they are values that I do not hold to or are trying to eradicate from my life (stubbornness is a big problem for me).
But having said all of that I feel I probably did come to this new ministry with a sense of arrogance. Not blatant "I am the centre of the Universe" type arrogance, but I did have some element of arrogance, I thought that I would come in, I would befriend people, I would make a difference in their lives, I would be doing a good work!!
The reality has been quite different however - I should have remembered my days back in Sri-Lanka, when I was too wet behind the ears to have this sort of opinion of myself. The stuff that I learnt there was amazing. Above all, in Sri Lanka I learnt the truth behind a God who has a bias towards the poor and marginalised (though it took me quite a few years to be able to articulate this lesson), I learnt the glory of worship done in church through a cheap casio and beaten up old acoustic guitar, I saw the love in genuine community as people of humble standing in life supported and cared for one another. Coming to Noble Park however I didn't think that I would be learning such lessons. I don't know why I felt this way, it was probably because the move was not such a major cultural change, I kind of felt that these people were still aussies; even if they did come from different socio-economic backgrounds and in some cases different countries to me, I thought that we would still hold a similar world view.
But that is not the case, sure these people are a bit rough around the edges and have a long way to go in their own journeys with the Lord (as we all do), but the Lord has instilled in them some amazing truths, stuff that people from richer middle class backgrounds are missing, and often yearning for.
One of the most precious values that they have here, is the willingness to take people as they are. There is no need to keep up false appearances here. Sure there are arguments, gossip and people hurting each other just like in other Christian communities, (though they are more up front than in most other communities that I have been in - but that is probably a good thing too). All the people here have failed or are imperfect or broken in some way. They cannot hide this side of who they are, so they don't even try, I wont say there are no masks, because I know there are, however, the masks are different. These people are not trying to live up to some clonesque concept of what a perfect Christian living in victory should be. Nor are they expecting me to live up to this sort of value.
For me, I have become more comfortable in my disability in this community that I ever had in my life. For those of you who don't know me too well, I suffer from a mild form of cerebral palsy that affects the right side of my body. The Lord has done some amazing things in my life in regards to my disability, but the fact remains that he has not completely removed it from my life (I have seen improvement, I would say I am at least 90% better than when I was a child). This sort of disability is looked down on in the middle class church and society as a whole. For many Christians it is a sign of a lack of faith, or God's judgment, or sin in your life or some other horrible thing like that. As a result I can tell my testimony of the Lords healing in my life, and celebrate in the fact that He has helped me forgive those who teased me through my childhood, I can even say that I believe that the Lord has kept the disability in my life as a reminder of his authority & power as well as to keep me humble (and I strongly do believe these things), and everyone will be touched and praise the Lord with me.
But I still needed to hide the fact that I have a disability otherwise the illusion comes crashing down, all of a sudden it is not so worthy a story to praise the Lord for. So I have to hide, I don't dance, I don't play sports, because these things make it obvious that I am not quite right. But here, in this community I am surrounded by others that are not quite right, and in many ways some of them are less right that I am. Now, I find myself free to kick a ball around, I find myself free to dance with my wife. Friends in the community are calling me to play in a cricket competition with them, even though they know I am not the best sportsman in the world, in fact, I think they actually enjoy that fact. Unfortunately I cannot make it to the competition due to other commitments, but my friends rib me about it, and I enjoy it. I don't have to hide. I can be me.
Thanks Lord!
Peter
